Merry Christmas Dad

I visited my dad’s grave today, to place flowers and show some respect. He died almost forty years ago, riddled with cancer and pain and the worry of when he would be able to get back to work, because what would become of us. He was never going back to work; he never knew he had cancer. My mother forbade us to talk about it lest what would the neighbours say. Mum and I looked after him for the most of his last days.

My lasting image is of returning from work one day to find dad in the sitting room worrying about work and money. Suddenly he broke down and I held him in my arms while he wept. I am weeping now while I type those words, a thing like that never leaves you, nor should it. 

It has taken me almost forty years to begin to understand my dad and finally I am starting to see what he gave for us and how much of a price he paid.

Merry Christmas dad. I love you.